The piteous case of Mr.Dodo and Mr. Angrez.

This morning, after parking my car in the basement parking, I was waiting for the lift to come and there were two young men standing next to me- an Indian and a foreigner. For convenience sake, let’s call them “The Dodo “and “The Angrez” respectively. So, Mr. Dodo and Mr. Angrez were busy in their conversation and I was busy in the usual shenanigans one indulges in while waiting for the lift …pacing the floor, checking the phone, cursing the lift, staring back at the guard who always seems to be staring at you...and the likes.

Then suddenly, the lift decided to make an appearance .The Dodo was closest to the lift doors but seems he had no recognition of the fact. He kept standing there and blabbering his heart out to the Angrez who, if I put it lightly, seemed to be love smitten by the “gyaan” that was being shared by the other guy. It took me a while to grasp but grasp I did...The two were showing no signs of getting into the lift and so, I realized I need to act fast or miss the bus. Hence, I moved myself ahead of the two with an expertise that can only be paralleled by those fast-as-lightning kung fu pandas!

The moment I entered the lift, I saw the Dodo and the Angrez regain their senses and probably the reality that they were there to take the lift, dawned on them. The two made a hasty entry into the lift just before the doors were about to close and crush at least one of them to a squishy pulp. I believe the duo thought I was to be blamed for this little dent in their morning bliss. The Dodo gave me a stare that seemed to accuse me the same way as probably Rama would have accused Sita in Ramayana and caused her to pray for the ground beneath to split open and take her in …. Only, in this case, he was met with an equally accusing and nasty stare …… I guess something his little brain was not expecting! The Angrez was busy staring into his cup of coffee and probably wishing he drowns in that at that very moment.

Anyways, stares over, the Dodo got back to his gyaan. I was not really interested in listening to whatever he was saying but then when the decibel levels are loud enough for the entire universe to hear, who am I to ignore?

Seems our dude was telling the Angrez about how our PM and FM are the only two educated ministers who have got……in his own words …..”degrees in like you know economics and commerce “…and how the rest are just an illiterate bunch and that is why they are not able to understand the policies that the PM and the FM make and hence, the poor execution! And all this is obviously the reason why our country has never had a past, is struggling in its present and obviously, has no future!

All this while, the other hapless fellow was just nodding and probably wondering at how he happened to land in this country of illiterate politicians and highly enlightened and opinionated citizens!

Really, Mr. Dodo, you bowled me over with your judgement and your pronouncements on the present predicament and future of our country. Nobody would deny that you were probably right in some measure …that majority of our politicians really are an unruly, uncouth bunch who are in a very big way, responsible for a lot of wrong in our country….but to say that what you view and how you view is what the stark reality of this country is …… How presumptuous and illiterate are you in that case?

**God bless me on a morning which starts with encountering morons of first order just as I enter office! **

Random thoughts…Manic Monday … Temple Blues…

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday  !

Lovely song by Bangles. And how truly this particular bit from the song reflects the state of my mind on a Monday morning. At the same time, how easily listening to this peppy number on the way to office lifted my mood straight from a blue-y state to a gleeful pink-y (?!) state, at least for today.

I am one of those lucky ones who have been spared the pandemonium that ensues in the early morning rush to office as I have a cool boss (once in a while, I can say that!) who does not really give me stares for turning into office at my own time! Add to that, the luxury of being able to drive myself and not catch a cab or a train/bus to work and I have a fairly relaxed routine at home even on a weekday morning. And so used am I to this that any deviation is set to turn on my zodiacal crabby self…. And a Monday morning does exactly that.

Monday is my fasting and temple day and I really look forward to the serenity and the sense of discipline it brings in my life. The harmonious clanging of temple bells, the ritual of puja, the offering of prayers, and the control over food cravings…I thoroughly enjoy it all and it gives me the much needed celestial faith to survive in this world. However, the bit about leaving home a little early and making a stop en route office leaves me a little hassled. Sounds shallow and inconsequential, but I guess the creatures of habit and convenience that we have become, even small changes require mammoth effort by body and soul both. It is not that I dislike doing this regularly or would wish for it to go away. On the contrary, I am trying to imbibe it in my routine on a more regular basis. But just wish that it becomes bit more convenient. I have often thought of keeping a small temple at home but then thought against it as I honestly believe I will not be able to do justice to it……..I hope someone rich in my apartment society gets bitten by the spirituality bug and turns their 2/3/4 BHK apartment into a heavenly abode!

So these temple blues and food cravings (I fast, remember!) get me into the Monday blues and I think the effect remains for the rest of the day. Though I, in no sense, deprive myself of food and nutrition in my fast, I still feel not up to the mark as I am a self confessed foodie and need my regular dosage of chocolate and coffee and snacks and cookies. How I wish God had made me a fruit-loving, green-tea drinker and I could use these awesome (not) items of food and beverages to pep me up on a Monday.But no, I instead crave for that sinful chocolate and that calorie loaded banana chocolate chip cookie that I decide to deny myself on one particular day of the week.

However, I am pretty circumstantially tenacious, if not congenitally strong willed………and hope remains. Even though it is taking every nerve of control in my body to resist the urge to get up and get myself a bar of chocolate, I think I will sail through the day without giving up. Beat the Monday blues, I say !

P:S: To God : You know how I love you and swear by your name. So, I hope this cribbing about temple blues does not reach you and if it does, it does not bother you as far as my karma points are concerned!

As life happens………… Gain some, Lose some!

Life, they say, is the biggest teacher. As one grows in life, literally and metaphorically, one accumulates a vast range of experiences and if traditional wisdom is to be believed, it is these experiences that sum up an individual’s personality and mindset at any given point in time. Good or bad, every experience or stage in life comes with lessons of its own  and these lessons or leanings are the only things that seem to have some semblance of permanence around them .Life itself is, anyways, changing face every second chance it gets !

So, as they say, we learn and mature as we grow. Now while maturity of mind/heart is not something that can be defined as easily as the maturity of a fixed period investment , there are some things which are generally acceptable as standards of mature, positive grown up behaviour …an open mind, a thoughtful approach, an unbiased attitude, an acceptance of situations / people, an ability to look back and laugh at mistakes,  an appreciation for choices- own and others’, a confidence to forge ahead, a grit to not give up, a broadening of horizons,  an increasing self awareness, a decreasing self obsession,an ownership of actions, a sense of responsibility……these are just few aspects of maturity. And needless to say, life’s failures are often much better teachers than success in propelling one onto a path of a mature and learned mind. Success, no doubt, teaches us what it takes to succeed but then, its mostly failures that act as a humbling force and push us to being more grown up and balanced (?) individuals.

However, is life’s journey all about gains? Do we lose something as we make our way through our lives? A child is blessed with an untainted heart and a blank slate of mind ( if we ignore the previous  birth stories doing the rounds !).What this means is that a child’s response to things or situations is totally based on imagination, intuition,trust , instinct and not some half cooked notions of what should be done or is appropriate or worthy of the situation. There is nary a worry in a child’s mind and there is a vast ocean of possibilities awaiting…..Endless  curiosity,careless abandonment, gullible trust, merry imagination …these are some of the endearing qualities about being an “unlearned” or “unadulterated “ child that makes them totally adorable to our adult selves !

Blessed is a child’s mind and heart as to not be bothered by sometimes nasty ,sometimes complex emotions like biases, blocks, chicanery, adultery ,shame,blame,calculated actions ,careful deliberations etc ….

…All of which a growing up child or an adolescent would knowingly or unknowingly  gain or be forced to adopt as a survival instinct in the big bad world ………..

And a grown up adult?

Well, in a quest for maturity, the adult mind loses the childlike adorability! Innocence takes a backseat…. care and caution become the key mantras! But being the complex devious creatures we are, do we give up easily?

No Sirree! The quest continues and wants to embrace both maturity and innocence! No doubt, growth enriches us and moves us away from a state of blissful ignorance to a more empowered knowledge based existence. A more advanced state of maturity even helps us become better human beings !Still, don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that once in a while, every adult craves to throw maturity and caution to the wind and go back to a state of childlike innocence and bliss! 

As someone rightly said “People don’t really grow up. They just learn to behave in public! “

Is human life so cheap?

You wake up on a bright sunny morning and pick up the newspaper ..and you immediately regret why you even bothered.The front page is full of  headlines like…

 Wife colludes with  lover to kill husband …

Daughter in law burnt to death over dowry…

20 killed in family feud over property …

Depressed man kills wife , 2 children before setting himself to fire….

….  or some such highly disheartening piece of news describing  a frivolous sounding murder or a suicide !Really ,what’s wrong with our world?Was human life not supposed to be precious?Were we not always told that one has to be really lucky to be born as a human being and not some ant or a rat or a bat!How then has it become so popular to take or give up life ?

Makes me wonder what forces one to a level of desperation or lack of control over mind and body that one indulges in a heinous crime as taking someone else’s or one’s own life.We owe our existence in this world to those who brought us in ..we form precious bonds and relationships over the years as we grow…our lives get intertwined with so many others around us ..and yet,a moment of blinding rage or desperation and we put all of that at stake?I am sure the murderer or the planning-to-be-dead suicide plotter are all normal people like us ,barring a few cases of psychological /mental illness .What is the form of suffering that then causes them to take such an extreme step as this?

We all suffer in our lives in one way  or the other and no doubt, sometimes, it indeed becomes a handful.Many times we feel zero control over life and do not know how to carry on further .Desperation sets in and the seed of ending it all starts sprouting .But to actually go ahead and do it ..would one call it a solution? May be it is for the dead or the vengeful who killed but who knows!On the other hand, is this not an act of total immorality,irresponsibility and stupidity?

And then there are more instances like …

A young college student commits suicide as she could not take rejection from her boyfriend..

A school student consumes poison and kills himself as he could not score good …

A son kills his father as he did not like the disciplinarian in him …..

and most recently read …

A man kills himself as he felt inflation is sucking his blood !

Really?Was that the end of life? No more hope left? No other way out?Another boyfriend, another year to score better , acceptance of parental fate ( after all, you do not get to choose them! ),improving economy,better income…...surely, there are things happening all the time to provide alternatives… difficult yes, it may be to see that light at the end of the tunnel but to think that it does not exist? To think that you do not have it in you to make it anyhow?Not for anyone’s sake in this world? Strange and beyond me is what I would say..And hope, I never ever get any bit closer in the other direction !

Though ,who is to blame here ? The one who fought against his or her suffering , could not cope up for whatever reasons, gave up , tried again , still could not cope up and then one fine day, decided to end it all? Or , the circumstances that led to it all ? Or the people around who are often found loading others with a burden of expectations that seem too big to be carried on living shoulders? Or the society at large which may not be doing enough to ensure people that they will be fine … that there are options other than killing or dying ..that they will survive if they just give themselves the gift of life and not take it away!

Difficult questions..am sure someone else knows the best ..but I sure think this is not the way.As a living ,thriving ,fighting and flourishing breed ,we are expensive and we do not leave the world just like that !

Am I gonna stop some things?Or am I gonna step up ?

Registered for a baking class. Cancelled last minute thinking it would be a waste of time - Stop cancelling.Time is meant for spending.

Controlled for a week(chocolate craving, that is).Gave up on the weekend – Stop controlling.It leads to losing control. 

That paint and brush box was supposed to receive a canvas for company.That painting was supposed to be done - Do it before the idea fades away or gets stolen!You know how it happens, especially with you.

Finished reading that awesome book.Picked up another before finishing that other not-so- awesome book - Stop flitting.Especially, when you know it makes you restless.

 Fumed & sulked for the better part of a day.Realised it does not help.Saved whatever was left of the day - Stop analyzing.Don’t expect.Continue on your zen habits.You are God's own baby!

That resume needs work. That resume needs lots of work –Work on it,while you are still here and have substance.

That one thing that is there in your mind,needs to be tackled head on.THAT thing really needs to be done if you want to do other things in life - Continue motivating yourself to do THAT thing before its too late!Or else, It will suck life out of you.

Proud of your sensitivity and thoughtfulness?Think you are doing yourself and others' any good? - Well, listen carefully now.Its no use.Pack it all in an airtight container and flung it out of the window .Where are the takers ,anyways?!

The list is getting longer.The list is getting unmanageable – Continue listing.Some day, it will all be ticked off.

Another weekend almost gone .Another chance almost lost.Another idea fizzled out.Another effort nipped in the bud - Well, stop whining.It does not help.Give yourself a break.

Weekends come and weekends go.Chance is never lost.Every moment is a chance........... Now if only the weekend could extend to weekdays!!
Either ways, stop  thinking. It ROTS your brain.You don't have a spare one, do you?

Phone-y matters!

I have got a phone and it works. It has email, it has facebook.Go deeper, and it even has blogger .And a reasonably good music function with radio. And not to forget the games too (so what if it is only “Snakes “, I love and play that only! ).So basically, it has everything that a low expectation customer like me needs in a phone .Its added advantage is that it has a KEYPAD and not some high-sensitivity-low-responsibility touch interface. So, it types what I want it to type and it does not take hours to do that!Oh and it does what it is basically supposed to do – make and take voice calls !

Now that sounds like a cool phone to me………if I leave aside the minor, or major, depending on how one views it, gripe around its cosmetic beauty. The thing is that the phone in consideration happens to have completed 4 years in my possession and it is quite natural now that it has a broken body which is held together with a …errrr.....well…with a matching elastic band. A couple of keys have started showing signs of falling off too but I must say they were all sturdy till a few months back and really, it functions as expected. Even if the keys fall off, I know what lies where and I CAN make it work.

BUT, people complain …though I refute….that my phone has called them up in the middle of the night and then called them up again at intervals of 5-10 minutes and then again and again, on its own! Now, who would believe that? Which hi-tech phone is capable of doing that? If mine can, there must be something great about it, right? Apart from the fact that if I leave it unlocked at times, the keypad acts on its own and does a bit of jugglery as described above!

Add to this, the ever present peer pressure. I have sensible and intelligent and rich and tech savvy people around me who are definitely not as much in love with simple but usable devices like my phone. Friends have come up with statements like “ Gift one to yourself on your birthday “ or “ Let us all collect money and get you a Reliance Common Man Phone “ or “ These days, they have good EMI options on phones as well “ . Some have even gone to the extent of disowning me in public places if I am flashing my phone in hand .I have been given subtle hints like “ Keep it in your bag or else, you might drop it somewhere and then you would have to depart with it (Its  a sturdy Nokia , I tell them ! )“  as well as more direct threats like “ If you are going to be seen with this phone, we are not going to be seen with you”. I must have given innumerable excuses to people in response to their earnest requests to me to change my “crappy “phone.

A year or two have gone by with me living amongst these threats and in general, feeling torn between my friends and my phone or if I do more soul searching, between my lowly worldly self and my highly esteemed inner self .After all, in this era of I-phones and Samsung Galaxies, I am not supposed to be content with a Nokia godforsaken long-forgotten version! And then there are these technology crazy companies that are out to outdo each others in establishing their smartphone supremacy and robbing poor people of their money in the name of providing them advanced technology. Advanced, it may be .But, crazy, it definitely is!

So anyways, considering that I am a mere mortal, the last two years have seen me vacillate though not give in. Some of the advantages of a new “swanky “phone have been dawning on me for quite some time now. I have also, on many occasions where it misbehaved, felt like throwing my phone in the next available drain pipe and get a new one that very moment .The balance has definitely tipped more in favour of paying my phone a timely tribute while it is still alive in my hands and letting it make a dignified exit before it gives up on me in a sudden and unpleasant manner!

But, I guess what they say about there being a right “destined” time for every thing, is so true! I must have done 100 hours of research on the internet to figure out a right phone for me and for quite some time now, even sure of which ones are worthy of replacing my prized possession. But it is not helping. I have many times gone out with the sole intention of buying a new phone and then once I am out there, promptly forgotten about it or got disinterested after looking at a couple of them. I am still with the same battered and shattered N-73 that I bought in Shanghai in the year of 2008 and that I loved a lot for some reasons that I explained above and some that I did not or rather can not but they very much exist. I cannot put into words what they are...all I know is that ridiculous as it may sound, something is definitely there that is preventing me from departing with my phone. A jinxed phone situation? A time warp? A foolish emotion? A stubbornness against people? Or plain old laziness ? I don’t know. But what I do know is that its time for change. And what I am scared of is that change is not something that is my forte!!!