No Judgment or No opinion?

Ever since I gained some sense in life , I have been wondering if there is anything in the world that I have seen so far , which I like or dislike strongly.That is , strong enough to say “ I can die for  “ or “ I hate” ! And I will leave ethereal things like chocolates out of this.

Quite often when I am sitting with a group of friends and we are discussing the finer nuances of life, people do come up with one or the other thing that they have very fixed opinions on and are able to slot them in their Like/Dislike zone. However, I find myself unable to do so and more so in the last few years. I am always rationalising why I should like or dislike a thing or person or attitude or whatever to such an extent that I become rigid about it and am not able to recognise or acknowledge if and when my opinions change about that. Many times I have had friends or family come up to me and say that they find it difficult to believe that even after spending more than three decades on this earth,

I do not have clarity of this sort in my mind. I beg to differ from them ..mostly.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I do have an opinion about all things material to me but may be I do not have any judgement on them. I like to believe that with growing experience in life, I am becoming less of a judgemental person and I am quite liking this aspect of my personality .I am not trying to say that people who have strong opinions or judgements on some things in life are lesser evolved or not “my types” but I do believe that this sort of attitude does not cut much ice with me. I really am not keen to judge the wholeness of anything or anyone on the basis of few experiences that I may have had.

However, there have been things happening at work and otherwise in the last few days that have prompted me to think hard. I have realised that there are certain attitudinal traits in people which really manage to get my goat. I may find something else which is good about them and hence, not slot them as being of a certain type or category BUT specific things do trouble me greatly!

And for my own benefit, just so that I am reminded every time I am guilty of something like this, I would like to list them down here and visit this page whenever I am in a doubt!

1. I do not understand why people are not straightforward in expressing their feelings even in close relationships. If they like or dislike someone or something or feel certain things about others are coming in the way of their relationship with them, why can they not say it out openly and directly to them. They talk about it to common friends, vent it out in the form of sarcasm, try to give hints, create and maintain distance but would just not take that one step of confronting the person concerned directly!
Troubles me really..I am not myself 100% there but am trying really hard to.

2. Irresponsibility to me seems like insensitivity. I really cannot bring myself to respect anyone who shirks responsibility when it is so staring in their face. I mean how can people adopt an attitude where they pretend nothing exists when actually the whole world around is on fire and the chief pretext they use is that the risk of damage due to not owning up is not theirs!

For some reason, I am meeting a lot of people with this attitude at my current job and this is one of the reasons, I feel I am so done up with this job! I need a change, seriously.  

3. People crib. I do too and am perfectly fine with cribbing. Once in a while, the vagaries of life do get on to my nerves and I make full use of a sympathetic shoulder, if I get one! Really do not see anything wrong in this..So obviously, do not understand when people say “Don’t crib. Just do something about it.” .I want to tell such people that if I could, I would have – without them sermonizing me about it.

4. Life has its own unique ways of teaching us. Sometimes, its experience and sometimes the lack of it. In either situation, we get an opportunity to pick up a lesson or two in lifeskills.So evidently, it troubles me if some people around me do not seem to have learnt anything over the years.

 I am not trying to say that I am a highly enlightened person but with every experience in life, I am trying to grow as a person, learning to leave the trivialities of existence behind and try to see the bigger picture in life.Ofcourse, this is a never ending process and I am just a novice here but I do see a change in myself and I appreciate that.

This is not all.. there is lot more but I think I will just be loosely opinionated about them and not try to form a judgement ..well not yet at least!