What is God’s approach? Or rather, what should be one’s approach to God?

Assumption:  I believe in a higher power and I think “God “is that higher power and for now, I would like to address God as “He” (purely for convenience purpose).

Assumption done, I can now safely ramble upon what I think of God’s approach towards dispensing with numerous applications that he might be getting every day or whenever he takes stock of them. We all remember God when we are in trouble or are needy or greedy for something – not to forget that some of us remember God when we have been transported out of a trouble or satisfied of greed or on an everyday or hourly basis as well! Considering the volume of incoming traffic, I am sure God must have devised umpteen strategies to attack the huge workload and deliver results though he must be grateful he does not need to go through mid year and end year appraisals – though who knows what happens in Heavens above !

As the wise ones say, he has strange ways and more often that not, he acts in a manner incomprehensible to mere mortals like us. So what that means is that sometimes his good work is tangible, many times it is totally invisible and we are left high and dry thinking that he is probably not in the mood to work or is upset with us and has decided not to help us this time. I was discussing this with a friend at work and it really made me wonder what approach is best for attracting the right sorts of attention from dear God.

From childhood we are taught that prayers are an infallible means of attracting divine attention. But then it’s not easy to pray, is it? I mean the sort of prayers that work. Otherwise, I do not understand why some of my prayers are not reaching him when I pray almost every now and then!

Paulo Coelho said in Alchemist (which sold millions of copies worldwide), “When you want something, the entire Universe conspires in helping you achieve it “. This means if you really want something with all your might, it will come to you.

Is God not part of this universe? Why then he does not conspire actively? Actually may be he is not. Hence, he works alone on his own and I need to figure out how to want and pray with all my might to make him bestow his attention on me.

In addition to spirituality, the religious pundits advocate various other means of reaching God. To my astonishment, I have been doing this too though I do not see myself as someone religiously following any one religion more than the other. But I do believe in what the elders and more wise souls say and also what my experience has taught me. So, I visit temples too when I feel like doing so and I must say, a visit to a temple or any other place of worship does give me peace of mind but then it still eludes the other purpose of putting me in touch with the God being represented by the idol in the temple .So, I think here again I am doing something wrong and need to figure out the right approach.

Leaving aside spirituality and religion, the more enlightened world of “karma believers “propagates “Nishkaam Karma” or “selfless action” as a way to reach closer to God. That is, do what you need to do but forget about reaping the benefits. How interesting but inhuman is that, I ask? Are we all not guided by results to work more and achieve more? Have we all not been taught that unless you do some work, you cannot expect the results !So when the concept of result vs. action is so heavily imbibed in our personalities right from childhood, how then suddenly it becomes less relevant while pursuing God ? I fail to understand but what I know is that for a long time now I have been doing what needs to be done, what seems right to me at that point in time and what my conscience allows me to do. Beyond that, I really have no way of judging whether my karma is right or not.                                                                                                                                                     

I am a mere human being… what else can I do? Got to find that out and in this lifetime hopefully!!

It’s time again ...for blowing my own trumpet and getting busted!

It’s the month of June and we are already six months into the current year. While this is not an earth shattering revelation, it does have serious repercussions on my precariously balanced mental peace. It is time for half yearly appraisals at work... What’s the big deal, the uninitiated may ask? But the experienced ones, I believe, would understand and empathise.

To add to the whole rigmarole of feedback and ratings, THE MANAGER has come up with a fancy self appraisal document titled “Inter Ranking Template “.The document not only requires one to size themselves up against their objectives but also to quantify their assessment of self in terms of “Ratings” – all of which is nothing new -except for the threatening undertones in the document under the name of “Forced Rating” ..makes it sound like a trial in a court of law where one is expected to provide evidence to support their testimony and in case of failure, be ready to accept a judgement that would be taken by a competent jury and be forced down one’s gullet.

As frustrating as the whole process of classifying six months’ worth of work into “ met expectations “ or “ exceeded expectations “ category is , there is something to be said about the opportunity it offers in terms of unabashed self aggrandizement. This is one of the bi-annual occasions where one gets to go on a glorious ego trip counting one’s achievements and hard work and the boss actually listens …or well, the boss actually pretends to listen! Ironically though, this is an exercise in futility as the boss has already made up his mind either on his own or succumbing to the “higher influences” or statistical pressures of curve-fitting et al.Despite this, elaborate forms are required to be filled in, discussions are held, good work is recognised ( by asking you to do better next time as you have already achieved “ good” ) and “not so good”  work is held against you for justifying boss’s “mental make-up”  . And in the event of your failure to produce acceptable evidence for your good work, “not so good” work prevails and dominates the course of discussion!

Having to go through this necessary evil is one of the bane of one’s corporate existence. Even after spending 8.5 continuous years wading through these waters, I still get flustered and keep postponing above mentioned event till the day of reckoning arrives! And it seems, for this year, the day has arrived and I must tackle the monster head on now. So, off I go to blow my own trumpet and oblige the universe with my filled in “Inter Ranking Template “!!

The Joy of Gifting!

Today over lunch, I happened to remark very casually that the way new born babies are raining around me these days, I am already tired …and proceeded to add, of giving gifts! To this, a colleague cum friend responded by asking me why I give gifts. And I don’t think I thought for a second before replying “Because I like to “.

And now when I am thinking about it, I really do like to give gifts. Any occasion, be it a birthday or an anniversary, a colleague’s farewell or a house warming party or sometimes, without any traditionally pertinent occasion such as my flatmate’s recent promotion. I really look forward to the opportunity or excuse for being able to give a gift to those who matter to me. The thought of a friend’s or family member’s birthday approaching near manages to incite an excitement in me even if the concerned person is sitting thousands of miles away .My mind starts planning and plotting for a surprise party or a surprise gift , well in advance. I am not always able to materialise my plans but I try to the best of my ability and keep trying till I get a clear signal that it would probably not work out this time.

I like to spend time thinking about the people in my life , what they would like , how I can make them happy and feel special on special occasions or otherwise .Now there may be hundred different ways of doing this but I think a gift chosen carefully is an expression of all these emotions wrapped up together. And this is one small but powerful way which goes a long way in telling the recipient that they are special and deserve the time and attention they have been given! And I know this because I get truly thrilled if I receive a gift J

The flip side to all this is that sometimes it bothers me if I am not able to choose that right gift that would express my emotions correctly. I have realised that this is just an expectation that I have from myself and does not really bother others. So, I am trying to ignore this and recognise that even though people love and appreciate gifts given to them , “gifting” is the giver’s joy and there are no obligations attached to it…..at least not in the current world where people are so busy in their lives they rarely bother to evaluate and judge others’ actions. This is a comforting realisation though I still like to rake my head and think through what I gift others and if for some reason, I am not satisfied, my joy does get marred a bit! But it’s like a tiny speck which I think I can ignore.

No Judgment or No opinion?

Ever since I gained some sense in life , I have been wondering if there is anything in the world that I have seen so far , which I like or dislike strongly.That is , strong enough to say “ I can die for  “ or “ I hate” ! And I will leave ethereal things like chocolates out of this.

Quite often when I am sitting with a group of friends and we are discussing the finer nuances of life, people do come up with one or the other thing that they have very fixed opinions on and are able to slot them in their Like/Dislike zone. However, I find myself unable to do so and more so in the last few years. I am always rationalising why I should like or dislike a thing or person or attitude or whatever to such an extent that I become rigid about it and am not able to recognise or acknowledge if and when my opinions change about that. Many times I have had friends or family come up to me and say that they find it difficult to believe that even after spending more than three decades on this earth,

I do not have clarity of this sort in my mind. I beg to differ from them ..mostly.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I do have an opinion about all things material to me but may be I do not have any judgement on them. I like to believe that with growing experience in life, I am becoming less of a judgemental person and I am quite liking this aspect of my personality .I am not trying to say that people who have strong opinions or judgements on some things in life are lesser evolved or not “my types” but I do believe that this sort of attitude does not cut much ice with me. I really am not keen to judge the wholeness of anything or anyone on the basis of few experiences that I may have had.

However, there have been things happening at work and otherwise in the last few days that have prompted me to think hard. I have realised that there are certain attitudinal traits in people which really manage to get my goat. I may find something else which is good about them and hence, not slot them as being of a certain type or category BUT specific things do trouble me greatly!

And for my own benefit, just so that I am reminded every time I am guilty of something like this, I would like to list them down here and visit this page whenever I am in a doubt!

1. I do not understand why people are not straightforward in expressing their feelings even in close relationships. If they like or dislike someone or something or feel certain things about others are coming in the way of their relationship with them, why can they not say it out openly and directly to them. They talk about it to common friends, vent it out in the form of sarcasm, try to give hints, create and maintain distance but would just not take that one step of confronting the person concerned directly!
Troubles me really..I am not myself 100% there but am trying really hard to.

2. Irresponsibility to me seems like insensitivity. I really cannot bring myself to respect anyone who shirks responsibility when it is so staring in their face. I mean how can people adopt an attitude where they pretend nothing exists when actually the whole world around is on fire and the chief pretext they use is that the risk of damage due to not owning up is not theirs!

For some reason, I am meeting a lot of people with this attitude at my current job and this is one of the reasons, I feel I am so done up with this job! I need a change, seriously.  

3. People crib. I do too and am perfectly fine with cribbing. Once in a while, the vagaries of life do get on to my nerves and I make full use of a sympathetic shoulder, if I get one! Really do not see anything wrong in this..So obviously, do not understand when people say “Don’t crib. Just do something about it.” .I want to tell such people that if I could, I would have – without them sermonizing me about it.

4. Life has its own unique ways of teaching us. Sometimes, its experience and sometimes the lack of it. In either situation, we get an opportunity to pick up a lesson or two in lifeskills.So evidently, it troubles me if some people around me do not seem to have learnt anything over the years.

 I am not trying to say that I am a highly enlightened person but with every experience in life, I am trying to grow as a person, learning to leave the trivialities of existence behind and try to see the bigger picture in life.Ofcourse, this is a never ending process and I am just a novice here but I do see a change in myself and I appreciate that.

This is not all.. there is lot more but I think I will just be loosely opinionated about them and not try to form a judgement ..well not yet at least!